A Farewell to Jack

To one Jack Bauer:

It is hard to believe that after 8 years, well 8 very long days I should say, that it's all finally over. There have been good times, there have been bad times, but mostly there have been incredibly violent times.

Oh Jack, you have become like good friend over the years. A very, violent, scary kind of friend, who I actually would never really want to come in contact with for fear of being taken hostage, being shot or taken in the always effective sleeper hold, (which I know by now, Jack, one never fights the sleeper hold.)

You've killed more people than I could ever count, Jack. And yet I always find myself hoping for your swift escape, your defensive kill or your enevitable Presidential pardon. Even this year when I found myself hating you as you embarked upon your killing spree of Russian operatives, much like a beauty contestant who has rambled on about the problem of the "youth in asia" during interview round, you make a touching statement about world peace and we're all eating out of the palm of your hand again. Well played.

There's so much I'll miss. You've such a way about you. The unending supply of tight black t-shirts. Your duffle bag you always carry containing machines guns and oozies. The way you're always two steps ahead of any terrorist opponent. But I think what I'll miss most is the way you never, never ever, spoke above a whisper. Those melodic grunts; so forceful and yet so gentle all at the same time.

Yes Jack, we've had a good run. And now you are on the run. I can't believe that upon the sky droid as you said goodbye to Chloe (which I'll admit, did bring tears,) is the last time I'll see your scruffy face...and her somewhat strange face.

You've kepst us safe while killing hundreds. And for that we will be forever grateful. We are also grateful we weren't the poor security guard on duty at a warehouse or loading dock for one of your little terrorist fighting rendevous.
Until we meet again Jack (and can I just say I hope President Palmer can be there too?)...here's to better days my friend. Better days.

Oh and just so you know this blog took place between 12am and 1 am.

Joshables

It's time for some more! I have been feeling so sad lately that Josh is getting so old, and I've done such a bad job of documenting him. So I'm gonna try and be good from now on. So here are some Joshables from the past little while. Enjoy!

"Mmmmm. This strawberry tastes like love!"

"Oh Grandma, it's like your house is giving me a nice warm hug!"

After explaining to Josh that everyone is special in their own way and Heavenly Father loves everyone, Josh said, (names are changed!) "Mommy, I don't think there is anything good about Billy and Jonny. Really mom. I promise. Well. I guess the only thing is that they chose to come to earth. But I still think they listen to Satan sometimes."

I heard this over the baby moniter one night. Josh was going to bed and I had let him listen to the ipod:
J: "Dad come here! You've gotta hear this!
C: "What is it?"
J: It's fantastic music!
C: What is it?
J: It's the one by Kelly Clark...you know the one about being safe on the street?
C: Which one?
J: You know the one that goes,(belting) "Because of you I stay too safe on the sidewalk. Because of you I learn to stay on the side of the safe sidewalk...(if you know that one you know he's close but not quite there. I love that he thinks it's about pedestrian safety.)

Here are some other misunderstandings:

"When I see your face, hope I give you help, hope I give you help" Very glad he didn't pick up on the real lyrics...I should probably start monitoring my listening!

Overheard him playing The Wizard of Oz:
"I am the great and powerful Oz!"
in a high squeaky voice, "I am Dorothy, the small like meat!" (small and meek...but meat is pretty small sometimes. It makes sense.)

"Mom, when Zac gets his helmet can we like roll him around everywhere and maybe throw things at him?"

Picking up his friend from preschool:
J:"Hey Billy, do you know what sound a cat makes when it's born?"
B: Ummmm, no.
J: Didn't think so.
(Dwight Schrute anyone?)

About twenty times or more a day I get:
"Mom, your the bestest!" "Mom you're the best of my life!" "Mom, you're the best mommy I could have ever had!" "Mommy, I love you so much!" He is the sweetest and the craziest. And I am the luckiest!

A great quote

Recently I heard this quote by C.S. Lewis, and I seem to having it constantly floating around in my head. I don't know why, but it really struck a cord with me. I guess it's because sometimes I feel like a cottage; a decent little cottage. One of my greatest fears as a mom is that my kids won't recognize how amazing they are. I am afraid of mean little kids. I am dreading the day my little boy comes home from school crying and doubting that he is wonderful. I want everyone I love to know that they are a palace! And that means you! Anyway, just thought I'd share this quote for anyone who hasn't read it before.

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first perhaps, you can understnd what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is he up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of- throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."
- C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Let's ipod shuffle it!

So I had a friend who "popcorned" me to do the ipod shuffle. You just turn on your ipod and list the first 5 songs that pop up. It actually can be pretty funny if you are honest. So here it goes!

1. Celine Dion, "The Prayer"
2. Britney Spears "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" (pretty sure she's launched herself into the woman category by now. Classic song, so glad it popped up!)
3. Abba, "Dancing Queen" (the best song ever maybe?)
4. Dixie Chicks, "I'm not ready to make nice" (for when I am angry spice!...that rhymed)
5. Jose Feliciano "Feliz Navidad" (what a festive way to end! Josh's absoute fav. We had to limit him to 10 times a day during Christmas.)

A nice little selection. Ok so I want anyone to leave theirs on a comment and I popcorn the following: Bendrea, Bethy, Mary, Holly, Linds and Gina D. Thanks for doing the ipod shuffle!

Joshables

Josh is quite possibly the funniest kid I've ever met, and he just happens to be mine. I think the perfect word for him is delightful. He says things all the time that make me laugh, as well as question how his little mind works. Usually he is thinking about wild animals. As we speak he is in the other room watching "Big Cat Diary" after begging me to let him. Anyway, here are some latest quotables from Joshy.

In the car listening to the radio:
"Mom, this girl sounds hot! You know, like kind of spicy. She sounds good to me. A little sassy. But Mom did you know that you are hot? I promise that's a good thing. Not like you are on fire, just really spicy." (Heaven help me. Where did he get any of this?)

Josh: "Hey Mom, is an avacado a fruit?"
Me: "I don't know. I think so."
Josh: "I knew it! I knew a fruit bat would like one!"

Me: "Ok Josh you can watch some cartoons now. What do you want to watch?"
Josh: "Hmmm. I don't know mom. Got anything violent?" (Great.)

After a dentist visit:
"Hey Dad! I get to get another silver tooth! And I didn't have any cavities!"

After overhearing me say to Chad, "I'm just losing my patience."
Josh: "Hey Mom, if you want to lose your patience more, just eat vegetables. They have no calories."

Everything ends with "lemon squeezy."
"Hey Josh, how are ya?"
"Great, great lemon squeezy!"
"How is your dinner?"
"Yummy, yummy lemon squeezy."
Really it goes with everything. Try it sometime.

After I keep finding him while playing hide and go seek,
"Hey Mom, how do you keep finding me? Is Jesus telling you? Cause that's cheating."

"Mom, I think the Holy Ghost would be friends with Casper. He's nice. Not too spooky."

While I'm sweeping off our front porch,
"Hey Mom, watcha doin? Is the Holy Ghost gonna live on our front porch now?" (after an FHE lesson on the spirit being in our home.)

"Mom you better look out or I'm gonna poke you like a narwhale. Really mom. I'm serious."

About 20 times a day,
"Mommy, I love you. You are the besties."

Love that kid.

Seriously?

That's all I could keep saying watching the finale last night. Really? Vieanna? He chose the Spicy Sausage. Wow. Honestly I didn't really feel like he liked her that much. I thought she was the girl the producers told him to keep around because she was good TV. But apparently, as we heard last night, Vienna is "his baby." Gag. And let it be noted that Tenley is a princess with a heart of gold. I think I fell in love with her! She's a class act and I'm glad she's not with Jake!
Ok let's recap, because there were some great moments!

-He talks about choosing one of them like he's picking produce. And can he please stop saying he's in love with both of them? Seriously! Driving me nuts.
-"My family came to help me fall in love." Apparently he is mentally challenged. Nice of them to come to St. Lutia for the day to help though.
-Is his Dad crying? Oh Tenley you are the perfect little darling for this family. Oh now mom is crying! Vieanna is so toast.
-Jake confessing he has't "played rough" with Tenley yet. But that was remedied when they went for a "spontaneous" jump in the pool. Oh and now everyone is jumping in. Shucks, if those Pavelkas don't beat all.
-Vienna with her confident, "hi baby".
-Oh things are not going well for Spicy Sausage. It's all bad Vienna. Did she tell his sister she looked kind of fat? Nice.
-"So won't you be shocked if Jake doesn't pick you?" Love the sister.
-Oh the playing in the mud. So bad. Please don't make me watch.
-"So, what was it like being married for 3 weeks?" valid question Jake. I love that it's pertinent. Don't worry, you'll know soon enough. (too mean? Sorry.)
-Jake and Tenley..another run to eachother reuunion. This one quite awkward.
-Wow, Tenley is quite excited for her date. "Are we going on this boat!!!!! Oh I'm so excited!"
-Did he just tell her he's not physically attracted to her? Nice. So clueless!!! He better be stop being such a jerk or all her little nomb friends are gonna coming calling for him.
-Did he just say "I love it," when Tenley said I love you?
-Producers: "Jake go ponder on the balcony. Please look pensive and slightly in pain. Then go put your feet in the pool and do it again."
-Ok the moment if coming. Why am I nervous? I now what the spoilers say, but please don't pick Vienna. Please, please.
-NOOOOOOOO! No way! Seriously? Vieanna? Oh Tenley you look so pretty. A pretty, pretty princess.
-As Chad said, "He's a lame-wad." Fo sho.
-"I love that we have the same morals,"....but I'm going the other way with Spicy Sausage. Lame.
-Tenley stop being so nice. Stop saying he's amazing. Stop, stop, stop! I can't take it.
-Great, bring on Spicy Sausage. Let her have her moment.
-Please, dump both of them, please dump both of them.
-ahhhh, the fake out. Classic. Nicely done Jake.
-all the previous contestants are crapping their pants. Especially Ali, our newest Bachelorette. (not excited).
-Now the love montage. How special. I'm so mad. Mad, as Chad said, "that I ever watched this garbage." Truth.

After the final Rose:
-Tenley is way too gracious. She really is above all this garbage.
-Did he just call her precious? Ok she is, but it just sounds condescending. But hey, they are friends forever! It's a win win. Or in The Office terms, a win, win, win.
-"Pulled a Meznick." I love you Chris Harrison. Is it just me or is he getting funnier?
"It's been blissful." Shucksy darn Jake.
-Vienna, pick a focal point and keep your eyes glued to it. I'm getting dizzy. (Mean again? Apologies.)
-Wow, never thought I'd see "On the Wings of Love" performed ever, let alone in this century.
-Oh the dancing and the making out and the song. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!

So, in the end all I have to say is, whatever. Congrats to Goober and Spicy Sausage. Congrats to Tenley for being the sweetest little niblet ever. And at the end of my viewing, was I totally fine with hitting the "yes, delete" button on my tevo? Absolutely. I'm never watching this show again.
ps-see you in May for the Bachelorette.

It's coming.....

"Will he choose sugar? Or will he choose spice?" Gag. Have you seen the promotional spots for tonights oh so juicy finale? It's hilarious. So apparently Vienna is spicy. Let her now be called Spicy Sausage! (Sounds like the next spice girl. Baby, Poche, Scary and Spicy Sausage). Anyway, can't wait for tonight and all the awkwardness that is Jake. Stay tuned for a re-cap!

Related story:
On the way to many of our hospital visits of late (rsv-not fun), we were playing the "humming game," aka- name that tune. First Joshy went, then mommy. When we came to Daddy, Joshy interjected, "Oh I know what song Daddy is gonna pick! Upon the wings of love!" Histerical laughter. Love that kid.
ps- Hubby please don't stop singing "On the wings of love" every monday when you come home!