Wednesday, August 18, 2010

2 more

i added a bunch of Joshables in the previous post, but forgot some!
2 more:

Josh found a leather jacket of mine, put it on, went to the mirror and said, "Mom, look at me! I'm like a teeny president!"

J: Daddy, I have a four-pack, what do you have? (meaning abs)
C: Uh, a one pack

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

They just keep comin'

Newsflash: I am a horrible blogger! But I need to keep track of my Joshables, so that's basically what my blog has turned into. Sorry if you like pictures or want to know what else is going on in my life! Here are a few Joshables from the past little while.

Whispering in my ear, "Mommy, I want to take a smooth goosey."
M: A what?
J: A smooth goosey.
M: What is that?
J: You know, it's grandma's big tub with all the bubbles?
M: Oh you mean a jacuzzi?
J: Oh right, a jacuzzi
(it is now forever called a smooth goosey!)

Watching some surgery that was on TV
M: Josh don't watch that, it's gross
J: Mom, I was made to watch gross! It's part of a man's life.

J: Mom, if everyone has talents, I know what Zac's would be...pooping. And I am good at tooting. I guess in our family we just have bathroom talents!

J: Mom, I have been waiting tonsively for kindergarten. Five whole years! That's like, so tonsivish!

J: Mom, have you ever seen a live mouse?
M: Yep
J: Ah man, no fair. I've only seen dead ones. Yep, dead. Dead as a pancake.

J: Mom, isn't it the BEST being an omnivore?!

J: Wow Dad, Mommy must have worked really hard to get you. You're like the greatest Dad ever!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Some more...

Here is another round of Joshables!

"Mom, do you think Sister Johnson is a carnivore? I do."

"Hey Mom, I'm controlling my body temperature right now, are you?"

on a similar note...

I went in where Josh was taking a bath, and it looked like he was concentrating very intensely.
M: "Josh, what are you doing?"
J: "I'm controlling my body temperature. I LOVE being warm blooded!"

"Mom do you know what my one wish is? I wish that when Jesus comes again, on the very first day, that I could ride on a dinosaur. And then I would like, kick him in the face.....Hey Mom do you think kids will be able to smack grown ups when Jesus comes again?"

"Mom, once your dead, there go your nuts!" (He had no clue what he was saying, he was just being silly. But I got a good laugh at it.)

J: "Mom, I don't think it's appropriate that you wear that."
M: "Why is that?"
J: "Um...because it's a little bit ugly."

Monday, May 24, 2010

A Farewell to Jack

To one Jack Bauer:

It is hard to believe that after 8 years, well 8 very long days I should say, that it's all finally over. There have been good times, there have been bad times, but mostly there have been incredibly violent times.

Oh Jack, you have become like good friend over the years. A very, violent, scary kind of friend, who I actually would never really want to come in contact with for fear of being taken hostage, being shot or taken in the always effective sleeper hold, (which I know by now, Jack, one never fights the sleeper hold.)

You've killed more people than I could ever count, Jack. And yet I always find myself hoping for your swift escape, your defensive kill or your enevitable Presidential pardon. Even this year when I found myself hating you as you embarked upon your killing spree of Russian operatives, much like a beauty contestant who has rambled on about the problem of the "youth in asia" during interview round, you make a touching statement about world peace and we're all eating out of the palm of your hand again. Well played.

There's so much I'll miss. You've such a way about you. The unending supply of tight black t-shirts. Your duffle bag you always carry containing machines guns and oozies. The way you're always two steps ahead of any terrorist opponent. But I think what I'll miss most is the way you never, never ever, spoke above a whisper. Those melodic grunts; so forceful and yet so gentle all at the same time.

Yes Jack, we've had a good run. And now you are on the run. I can't believe that upon the sky droid as you said goodbye to Chloe (which I'll admit, did bring tears,) is the last time I'll see your scruffy face...and her somewhat strange face.

You've kepst us safe while killing hundreds. And for that we will be forever grateful. We are also grateful we weren't the poor security guard on duty at a warehouse or loading dock for one of your little terrorist fighting rendevous.
Until we meet again Jack (and can I just say I hope President Palmer can be there too?)'s to better days my friend. Better days.

Oh and just so you know this blog took place between 12am and 1 am.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


It's time for some more! I have been feeling so sad lately that Josh is getting so old, and I've done such a bad job of documenting him. So I'm gonna try and be good from now on. So here are some Joshables from the past little while. Enjoy!

"Mmmmm. This strawberry tastes like love!"

"Oh Grandma, it's like your house is giving me a nice warm hug!"

After explaining to Josh that everyone is special in their own way and Heavenly Father loves everyone, Josh said, (names are changed!) "Mommy, I don't think there is anything good about Billy and Jonny. Really mom. I promise. Well. I guess the only thing is that they chose to come to earth. But I still think they listen to Satan sometimes."

I heard this over the baby moniter one night. Josh was going to bed and I had let him listen to the ipod:
J: "Dad come here! You've gotta hear this!
C: "What is it?"
J: It's fantastic music!
C: What is it?
J: It's the one by Kelly know the one about being safe on the street?
C: Which one?
J: You know the one that goes,(belting) "Because of you I stay too safe on the sidewalk. Because of you I learn to stay on the side of the safe sidewalk...(if you know that one you know he's close but not quite there. I love that he thinks it's about pedestrian safety.)

Here are some other misunderstandings:

"When I see your face, hope I give you help, hope I give you help" Very glad he didn't pick up on the real lyrics...I should probably start monitoring my listening!

Overheard him playing The Wizard of Oz:
"I am the great and powerful Oz!"
in a high squeaky voice, "I am Dorothy, the small like meat!" (small and meek...but meat is pretty small sometimes. It makes sense.)

"Mom, when Zac gets his helmet can we like roll him around everywhere and maybe throw things at him?"

Picking up his friend from preschool:
J:"Hey Billy, do you know what sound a cat makes when it's born?"
B: Ummmm, no.
J: Didn't think so.
(Dwight Schrute anyone?)

About twenty times or more a day I get:
"Mom, your the bestest!" "Mom you're the best of my life!" "Mom, you're the best mommy I could have ever had!" "Mommy, I love you so much!" He is the sweetest and the craziest. And I am the luckiest!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

A great quote

Recently I heard this quote by C.S. Lewis, and I seem to having it constantly floating around in my head. I don't know why, but it really struck a cord with me. I guess it's because sometimes I feel like a cottage; a decent little cottage. One of my greatest fears as a mom is that my kids won't recognize how amazing they are. I am afraid of mean little kids. I am dreading the day my little boy comes home from school crying and doubting that he is wonderful. I want everyone I love to know that they are a palace! And that means you! Anyway, just thought I'd share this quote for anyone who hasn't read it before.

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first perhaps, you can understnd what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is he up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of- throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."
- C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Let's ipod shuffle it!

So I had a friend who "popcorned" me to do the ipod shuffle. You just turn on your ipod and list the first 5 songs that pop up. It actually can be pretty funny if you are honest. So here it goes!

1. Celine Dion, "The Prayer"
2. Britney Spears "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" (pretty sure she's launched herself into the woman category by now. Classic song, so glad it popped up!)
3. Abba, "Dancing Queen" (the best song ever maybe?)
4. Dixie Chicks, "I'm not ready to make nice" (for when I am angry spice!...that rhymed)
5. Jose Feliciano "Feliz Navidad" (what a festive way to end! Josh's absoute fav. We had to limit him to 10 times a day during Christmas.)

A nice little selection. Ok so I want anyone to leave theirs on a comment and I popcorn the following: Bendrea, Bethy, Mary, Holly, Linds and Gina D. Thanks for doing the ipod shuffle!

Monday, March 8, 2010


Josh is quite possibly the funniest kid I've ever met, and he just happens to be mine. I think the perfect word for him is delightful. He says things all the time that make me laugh, as well as question how his little mind works. Usually he is thinking about wild animals. As we speak he is in the other room watching "Big Cat Diary" after begging me to let him. Anyway, here are some latest quotables from Joshy.

In the car listening to the radio:
"Mom, this girl sounds hot! You know, like kind of spicy. She sounds good to me. A little sassy. But Mom did you know that you are hot? I promise that's a good thing. Not like you are on fire, just really spicy." (Heaven help me. Where did he get any of this?)

Josh: "Hey Mom, is an avacado a fruit?"
Me: "I don't know. I think so."
Josh: "I knew it! I knew a fruit bat would like one!"

Me: "Ok Josh you can watch some cartoons now. What do you want to watch?"
Josh: "Hmmm. I don't know mom. Got anything violent?" (Great.)

After a dentist visit:
"Hey Dad! I get to get another silver tooth! And I didn't have any cavities!"

After overhearing me say to Chad, "I'm just losing my patience."
Josh: "Hey Mom, if you want to lose your patience more, just eat vegetables. They have no calories."

Everything ends with "lemon squeezy."
"Hey Josh, how are ya?"
"Great, great lemon squeezy!"
"How is your dinner?"
"Yummy, yummy lemon squeezy."
Really it goes with everything. Try it sometime.

After I keep finding him while playing hide and go seek,
"Hey Mom, how do you keep finding me? Is Jesus telling you? Cause that's cheating."

"Mom, I think the Holy Ghost would be friends with Casper. He's nice. Not too spooky."

While I'm sweeping off our front porch,
"Hey Mom, watcha doin? Is the Holy Ghost gonna live on our front porch now?" (after an FHE lesson on the spirit being in our home.)

"Mom you better look out or I'm gonna poke you like a narwhale. Really mom. I'm serious."

About 20 times a day,
"Mommy, I love you. You are the besties."

Love that kid.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


That's all I could keep saying watching the finale last night. Really? Vieanna? He chose the Spicy Sausage. Wow. Honestly I didn't really feel like he liked her that much. I thought she was the girl the producers told him to keep around because she was good TV. But apparently, as we heard last night, Vienna is "his baby." Gag. And let it be noted that Tenley is a princess with a heart of gold. I think I fell in love with her! She's a class act and I'm glad she's not with Jake!
Ok let's recap, because there were some great moments!

-He talks about choosing one of them like he's picking produce. And can he please stop saying he's in love with both of them? Seriously! Driving me nuts.
-"My family came to help me fall in love." Apparently he is mentally challenged. Nice of them to come to St. Lutia for the day to help though.
-Is his Dad crying? Oh Tenley you are the perfect little darling for this family. Oh now mom is crying! Vieanna is so toast.
-Jake confessing he has't "played rough" with Tenley yet. But that was remedied when they went for a "spontaneous" jump in the pool. Oh and now everyone is jumping in. Shucks, if those Pavelkas don't beat all.
-Vienna with her confident, "hi baby".
-Oh things are not going well for Spicy Sausage. It's all bad Vienna. Did she tell his sister she looked kind of fat? Nice.
-"So won't you be shocked if Jake doesn't pick you?" Love the sister.
-Oh the playing in the mud. So bad. Please don't make me watch.
-"So, what was it like being married for 3 weeks?" valid question Jake. I love that it's pertinent. Don't worry, you'll know soon enough. (too mean? Sorry.)
-Jake and Tenley..another run to eachother reuunion. This one quite awkward.
-Wow, Tenley is quite excited for her date. "Are we going on this boat!!!!! Oh I'm so excited!"
-Did he just tell her he's not physically attracted to her? Nice. So clueless!!! He better be stop being such a jerk or all her little nomb friends are gonna coming calling for him.
-Did he just say "I love it," when Tenley said I love you?
-Producers: "Jake go ponder on the balcony. Please look pensive and slightly in pain. Then go put your feet in the pool and do it again."
-Ok the moment if coming. Why am I nervous? I now what the spoilers say, but please don't pick Vienna. Please, please.
-NOOOOOOOO! No way! Seriously? Vieanna? Oh Tenley you look so pretty. A pretty, pretty princess.
-As Chad said, "He's a lame-wad." Fo sho.
-"I love that we have the same morals,"....but I'm going the other way with Spicy Sausage. Lame.
-Tenley stop being so nice. Stop saying he's amazing. Stop, stop, stop! I can't take it.
-Great, bring on Spicy Sausage. Let her have her moment.
-Please, dump both of them, please dump both of them.
-ahhhh, the fake out. Classic. Nicely done Jake.
-all the previous contestants are crapping their pants. Especially Ali, our newest Bachelorette. (not excited).
-Now the love montage. How special. I'm so mad. Mad, as Chad said, "that I ever watched this garbage." Truth.

After the final Rose:
-Tenley is way too gracious. She really is above all this garbage.
-Did he just call her precious? Ok she is, but it just sounds condescending. But hey, they are friends forever! It's a win win. Or in The Office terms, a win, win, win.
-"Pulled a Meznick." I love you Chris Harrison. Is it just me or is he getting funnier?
"It's been blissful." Shucksy darn Jake.
-Vienna, pick a focal point and keep your eyes glued to it. I'm getting dizzy. (Mean again? Apologies.)
-Wow, never thought I'd see "On the Wings of Love" performed ever, let alone in this century.
-Oh the dancing and the making out and the song. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!

So, in the end all I have to say is, whatever. Congrats to Goober and Spicy Sausage. Congrats to Tenley for being the sweetest little niblet ever. And at the end of my viewing, was I totally fine with hitting the "yes, delete" button on my tevo? Absolutely. I'm never watching this show again.
ps-see you in May for the Bachelorette.

Monday, March 1, 2010

It's coming.....

"Will he choose sugar? Or will he choose spice?" Gag. Have you seen the promotional spots for tonights oh so juicy finale? It's hilarious. So apparently Vienna is spicy. Let her now be called Spicy Sausage! (Sounds like the next spice girl. Baby, Poche, Scary and Spicy Sausage). Anyway, can't wait for tonight and all the awkwardness that is Jake. Stay tuned for a re-cap!

Related story:
On the way to many of our hospital visits of late (rsv-not fun), we were playing the "humming game," aka- name that tune. First Joshy went, then mommy. When we came to Daddy, Joshy interjected, "Oh I know what song Daddy is gonna pick! Upon the wings of love!" Histerical laughter. Love that kid.
ps- Hubby please don't stop singing "On the wings of love" every monday when you come home!

Friday, February 26, 2010

This one's for Bethy

Bethy is the greatest. She's one in a million. I am lucky enough to have her as my older sister. This past week we had a big scare when she went to a chiropractor to help with a pinched nerve. While working on Bethy, she somehow damaged an artery in her neck and sent Bethy into a stroke. She couldn't feel the right side of her body and she couldn't stop throwing up. What scared her to death is that she couldn't control her throat and feared she was going to asperate. We are so lucky that Bethy is fine! I am so grateful! She hasn't suffered any long lasting side effects, which is such a blessing. She will have to be on blood thinners for months wihile her artery is healing, but she will be ok. I've been thinking about the amazing person Bethy is and wanted to let her know some of my favorite memories of her and why she is the best!

-always the first one to tell me that I'm great
-let me hang out with her and her friends in high school when I was having a rough time with my own friends. IN fact through my whole life she let me hang out with her, even though I was younger and probably annoying
-My Fair Lady- some of the greatest times!
-Grasshopper legs- those femurs never end!
-"Tall as a tree, only nicer."
-You are my sausage!
-No one could push my buttons like Bethy. I remember screaming once, with all the intesnsity I could muster up, "I HATE YOU!!!!!" (not such a loving memory, but it's funny to me now).
-The 3/4 rule. If we shared a bed, Bethy enstated the "3/4" rule. Guess which part I got?....Remember those grasshopper legs.
-Set a great example of commitment and love of the gospel when she served a mission to Slovenia.
-Got missionaries in her mission to pray for "Pegs."
-Tried to find me a husband on her mission.
-Pegs and Pooki
-Wanted to marry someone who served their mission in Eastern Europe...random. But she found him!
-Went through some pretty heartbreaking times, but handled them like a trooper and we were all so proud of her!
-We got to be pregnant together and have our boys weeks apart.
-"Do you like the way I walk? I learned when I was a baby. I've been walking for years!"
-Bugs Bunny and Tom and Jerry.
-The scowl she gave in pictures when she was little
-Barks when she coughs
-After every meal, "I'm going to vomit."
-Doesn't care what others think of her; she is who she is. I love that!
-My math tutor. "um Bethy, I have a Math test to today. Could you teach me everything we learned the last month in the next few hours?!" And she would. Saved me!
-Loved Gone With the Wind, Anne of Green Gables, Jane Austen Books and The Work and the Glory.
-Playing the flute. Especially Flight of the Bumble Bee and As I Have Loved You.
-Wanted a latin lover. Got Justin instead. (ha ha)
-"Let's do my make-up just in case I get married today!"
-Her junior high pics. If only I had some to post! Awesome bangs.
-Steal the flag, bishop's followers and I need a beckon.
-Miss Stacy, a tree and a fancy ballroom dancer. Did I miss any?
-Wore a formal to a band concert.
-Hated the band. Mocked the band. Made a mortal enemy out of Dave ____. But made peace with Mari Louise!
-The circle of life. (right?)
-I was hanging upside down at recess in my skirt, showing the whole world my cute undies. She came over and told me that was unacceptable. (that's a nice way of putting it.) I was mad.
-on a similar note, during the halloween parade, I decided at the last miniute I wanted to be a princess with an off the shoulder gown. When we walked into her classroom, she scoughed and came over and pulled my sleeves up. (I have her to thank for my modesty I guess.) I was so mad again. (kind of hussy?)
-Making up dances. Let's here it for the boy, Shena Easton, the Jets and Pippen.
-The Beatles
-Oldies 94.1
-Everly Brothers, Hootie and the Blowfish, U2.
-Quite Sassy.
-Leading me around with her finger..or other way around.
-Our weird skippy dance.
-Even weirder pool games. What fruit am I? Drop a ring...OOPS!
-Biking everyday to swim at BYU and then go the creamery. (that began my love affair with the creamery).
-Carrot Cake
-Indigo Girls
-Bacon, bacon and more bacon. (she's like that dog from the commercial, Beggin Strips).
-Domestic Diva. Sewing and cooking.
-Incredible mommy, fabulous aunt.
-"Eunice? There's a person named Eunice?"
-Wanted to be a female Luger.
-"You're lucky you got married when you were young and stupid."
-Loved Transformers
-Driving the loop, going on drive bys.

Bethy is the greatest sister, (besides Emmy of course. I am very lucky. My brother is quite wonderful as well. Everyone covered? Good). She's been my biggest fan and helped me in so many ways. We have many hilarious memories. So, I'll say it again: there is no one like Bethy. Even if she would take the last piece of chocolate cake.
Love you lots. So glad you're ok.
ps- when Joshy heard about Bethy, he got tears in his eyes and said, "Mommy, should we make her some soup?" We love you!

instead of comments to me, click here and send her one.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

If loving the bachelor is wrong, I don't ever want to be right

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Has anyone bee watching the Bach this season? (If you are an avid Bach watcher, you've earned the right to use this nickname.) You probably watch and maybe don't admit it. Well this season has been AWESOME! You know, so bad it's great? But it perplexes me because of all the bachelors in past history, I think Jake is one of the worst. Ok Prince Lorenzo probably takes first prize, but Jake is a close second. In my opinion, he is a goober. I think he would have been king zoobie at BYU. I see him at a stake dance, with his incredible moves. For some reason, girls are going crazy for him, wanting to be his co-pilot and all that. (gag me please. How many puns can we use because Jake is a pilot?)

Anyways, last night's the women tell all was amazing! Usually the most boring episode of the season, this one was fantastic! So let me just point out some highlights:

-Love to see all the women he's sent home...don't recognize half of them
-Jessie, who are you and why do you have a rose behind your ear?
-Rozlyn, Rozlyn, Rozlyn. You are a LIAR!
-Rozlyn your dress looks like someone is unwrapping a present.
-She acts like she has no idea what anyone is talkilng about. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!
-Chris Harrison, I love you. Thank you for sticking it to Rozlyn.
-Why do I feel upset that Rozlyn dissed Chris...I think I have been watching too long. We feel like old friends. He would never hit on someone elses wifey.
-When did all these people with children pop up?
-Gia, your gorgeous, no worries. Thank you for not wearing the hideous heart necklace around your wrist.
-Alli, I liked you better last night. I laughed out loud when you said, "I want a super fart."
-Why is Jake making them all cry? Poor Christine.
-Embarrassed for Emily having to watch her teasing Jake about kissing her. "You wanna make out with my forehead all night?" Bad.
-Michelle. Wow. Thank you ABC for casting her. She was the perfect blend of beautiful, pathetic and psycho.
-Gia, stop talking about Michelle. She will kill you. No, seriously stop talking about her, I fear for your life.
-Outake real makes me like everyone a little bit better. Love Jake in the shower running like a madman.
-Love Chris Harrison singing "On the wings of Love" to Jake.
-Can't get over seeing Sausages's founding father hairstyle again. (That's what we call Vienna...tell me you had those when you were little)
-Surprised Jake didn't tell everyone there he was falling in love with them
-Please don't make Alli the next bachelorette.
-Love Tenley. Love that people think she poops rainbows and dreams in cartoons. Isn' t that the kind of person Jake needs to end up with? She was Arial people! In fact I could see Jake and Tenley living a very happy life as mermaid and merman. That way Jake could go around showing his abs off all day. (Please no more close ups or discussions about his abs. PLEASE).

So that's a brief recap. Can't wait for the finale. Pretty please pick Tenley. Stay away from Sausage.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Blast from the past

Guess what? I'm gonna blog more often!
So the other day I was cleaning out a drawer and found a card Chad got for his b-day. I thought I'd share, it made me laugh.

You know you're turning 30 if:
You ever had a mullet, "tail," or side ponytail (seriously, side pony tail was my hairstyle of choice for whenever I wanted to look "super cute.")
-you have used a Commodare 64 (couldn't get enough- frogger anyone?)
-you owned a trapper keeper (mine had sea shells on it)
-you can name all the members of New Kids on the Block (Jordan was such a dreamboat)
-you can remember when fast food burgers came in styrafoam containers (remember that one that came with parts of the burger in oppostie sides of the container and then you flipped them together to make your burger? random)
-you had a crush on Zack Morris or Kelly Kapowski from saved by the Bell (um I was once considered a saved by the bell trivia guru. Yes embarrasing, but even now when this lovely little show is on at 3 in the morning, I can sometimes still tell which episode is coming on in the first minute or so. Ah memories...remember Hot Sundae? Or was it THE hot sundaeS? I am losing my mojo. I will love that show forever. Did anyone recently notice I named my son Zac......)

Just thought I'd share, that card made me smile!
ps-weird. Chad is 30!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Here is little Zac...well not so little. This last week he weighed in at 21 pounds. This was taken over christmas, so the rolls and pudginess have increased. Really, he has quite the physique. You may be asking, "Margaret, you never post,why don't you put up a more current photo?" Well, let me tell you that I found this one in an October 2007 file! Where are all my photos?! Why am I computer retarded? Anyway, this is all I could take the time to find. Enjoy, he is delicious!